I just hope that one day I will get the chance to have a child with the man I love. I had my abortion in when I was about six weeks pregnant. When I found out I was pregnant I was devastated. Being pregnant was something I did not want at all and it made me feel completely out of control of my life. At the age of 20, I was going through some mental health problems and was taking a year off from college. I still wanted to get my life back on track and having a child would have ruined that.
Although I knew I did not want a child the thought of an abortion did not immediately occur to me; I just felt trapped and frustrated. The clinic advised a surgical procedure so that is what I opted for. The worst part was having the local anaesthetic administered to my cervix with a needle. The suctioning feeling from the vacuum tube was also a bit weird, but not significantly painful.
After the suctioning was done, I noticed a nurse working across the room and I asked what she was doing. She told me she was confirming that the pregnancy tissue had been removed from my uterus. I asked her if I could look at it, and with a bit of hesitation, she told me I could.
I went over and peered into a petri dish containing the pregnancy tissue — including the embryo and gestational sac. Honestly, my immediate reaction was that it looked like a loogie: it was a whitish, ragged-edged glob about the size of a quarter. Having seen what came out of my body gave me comfort and closure.
In the recovery room after the procedure, I remember feeling exceedingly happy to not be pregnant anymore. It felt like a huge burden had been lifted and I had regained control of my life. After my abortion, I went on to graduate at the top of my college class and to have a successful career which is what I wanted. But those thoughts bring up feelings of dread that I would have resented my child for its whole life, or that the child would have had a terrible abnormality because I was drinking alcohol and smoking early in my pregnancy since I was not expecting or intending to be pregnant.
Ultimately, I feel grateful that I was in a situation where I could get an abortion like any other medical procedure. The fear of being looked down upon for doing something that was legal and completely reasonable is what I find distressing.
Having another child would have put enormous strain on my family, our finances and ultimately my ability to cope. This would also have been completely unfair on a new born child. I had an initial meeting with a counsellor and then with a nurse. I received support from nursing staff during the procedure and afterwards. I also received immediate support from my family and partner. The procedure was very quick. There was pain, but I had gas and air to relieve it.
There were surprisingly few after-effects although I think my body was in shock. I lost some hair and had ridges in my nails which took a while to grow out.
Abortion is such an emotive issue and without doubt it is one of the worst things I have been through but I would not have done it another way. I am so glad I live in a country where I could access this for free through a healthcare system and without any prejudice on the part of the healthcare providers. I hope this always remains so in the UK.
I was in an abusive relationship where my boyfriend spat on me, broke my things, hit me and tore me down emotionally. He called me fat every day and made me feel like I was very unattractive. I was isolated away from my friends and family because of him. I got my abortion and I high-tailed it out of town. Beautiful British baby names. Meaningful tattoos to memorialise miscarriage and infant loss. Rare baby names. Celebrity pregnancies: Cute bumps.
Perfect baby names for February. Create an account. Edit this Article. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy. Cookie Settings. Learn why people trust wikiHow. Download Article Explore this Article parts. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Article Summary. Part 1. See your doctor. They can advise you about your options: abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby.
Your doctor should not pressure you in any direction. They should simply provide you with information about what options are available to you. If you are considering an abortion, you may wish to prepare a list of questions to ask your doctor. You may feel embarrassed or shy about talking to someone about an abortion, but your doctor is there to help you. Understand your privacy rights. If you are an adult, you do not need to tell anyone about your decision to have an abortion. You may, however, wish to tell a trustworthy friend or family member to help support you during the procedure.
This policy varies by state, and most states have parental notification laws. Clarify information about abortion complications. Because abortion is a controversial procedure, there is a lot of misinformation floating around about abortion and its effects. Do your research. Talk to your doctor. Look for information from government publications or reputable news sources.
Use caution when doing online research. Beware of any website that seems to push an overtly pro-choice or pro-life agenda. Know that abortion is safe. Only one percent of abortions have complications. Additionally, an uncomplicated abortion will not cause infertility or trouble for future pregnancies.
It is, however, a stressful event, and some women find themselves having a more difficult time following the abortion, due to preexisting mental health conditions or a lack of a support network, for example. Determine if you are eligible for a medical abortion. Your healthcare provider will perform a physical exam, usually including an ultrasound, and then prescribe mifepristone or sometimes methotrexate and misoprostol.
After hours, you will take the misoprostol, which causes the uterus to empty. You will have cramps and heavy bleeding, usually within hours of taking the medication.
Definitely want to place my child for adoptionDefinitely want to parent. Do I need more information on any of these options? If I was to sum up my feelings and thoughts it would go like this The idea of having an abortion makes me feel ………………………… because ………………………… and I'm thinking………………………… The idea of continuing the pregnancy and placing the baby for adoption makes me feel ………………………… because ………………………… and I'm thinking ………………………… The idea of having a baby now and becoming a parent makes me feel ………………………… because ………………………… and I'm thinking ………………………… Now that you have looked at how you feel and what your thoughts are about this pregnancy, let's look at the other people in your life.
Significant others in your life Children: how will this affect my kids? The following questions may help you decide: Ideally when would I be ready to have another child? I only ever wanted one child. Am I open to considering having more than one? What are my feelings around having more than 1 child? More than three children? What age gap do I prefer for my child or children? Can I cope with another child now? How do I deal with sleep deprivation, physical tiredness and emotional upheaval?
Do I have the energy to raise another child? Who would support me if I have another child now? How would having another child now affect my growth and development? Would having another child change my educational or career plans?
Could I handle another child considering my current workload? What about future children? Partner This section is for those women who want to include the man involved in the pregnancy in the decision-making process. Does my partner want to have a child? Another child? Is our relationship a happy and strong one, which would give a child a good home? Could we share the work of looking after a child? How well do we know each other — especially in relation to our views on parenting?
Could we share our love with a child or with more than one child without being jealous? How well do we currently communicate with each other and how may this be affected by having a child? If my partner says he will leave me if I have an abortion does that affect my decision?
If my partner says he will leave me if I continue with the pregnancy does that affect my decision? If my partner says he will leave me if I adopt the child out does that affect my decision? Decision making and violence For many women violence may start or become worse during pregnancy. Here are some questions it may be useful to ask yourself: He keeps changing his mind all the time about this pregnancy.
How can I hold on to what I want when he does this? Does he know I am pregnant? Is it safe to tell him? If he knows about the pregnancy, is it safe for me to make a choice about this pregnancy? What might be the consequences for me and others if I do not do what he wishes? Will I be safe while I am pregnant? Will the violence effect the health of the pregnancy? If I go ahead with the pregnancy will I be able to keep the baby safe?
Will staying pregnant and having a baby make it harder for me to leave if and when I am ready? What if things get bad again and it is too late for me to end this pregnancy? He says now that there is a baby on the way that he will change.
Things have been much better since I told him I was pregnant but can I trust his promises? Who else do I trust that could support me with this decision?
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